This Isn’t Goodbye…

The other night on Twitter I tweeted about how I was taking a short blogging break, I had an influx of tweets saying they hoped I was okay which was very touching. I find sharing things and talking about things easier than bottling situations up and thought that I might as well right a post now explaining.

2PIN IT!12.4.1931 – 14.5.2014

If you haven’t already guessed, I sadly lost my Grandma on Wednesday morning. It’s all been such a shock and still hasn’t settled in properly yet. She wasn’t the normal 83 year old, she was full of energy, did everything herself, was part of the Green Party, constantly singing, dancing, telling stories and baking, so when the phone call came Monday night to say she was in hospital, my world came crashing down. The family all rushed there to be with her and my Grandpa. I’m not going to say what happened but she hung on in there and sadly passed away peacefully Wednesday morning whilst I and other members of the family where by her side

My Grandma Rita – I also gave her the names Nanma, Grimble and Granny for a laugh, was the most loving person in my life. She was a beautiful lady inside and out and although everyone in their family argues, we always made up straight away. I grew up with her, we were so close and she was always there for me. I probably saw her every week sometimes more, and popping over to Nanma’s for a cuppa was one of my most favourite things to do, she made the best tea. Christmas will not be the same without her. Every year my mum, brother, sister and I would stay for the whole week from Christmas Eve to New Year’s day, eating junk food and staying up until 2am chatting and watching films, Christmas will most definitely be the hardest holiday for me, it’s been a tradition to be with my Grandma and Grandpa every year since I was about 5.

I feel as though a part of my life has gone dark and that I’m missing something. I miss her crazy humming/singing that she used to do along to the songs on the radio, I miss her funny giggling after a drop of sherry and I’d tease her saying she was drunk. The time she was whistling Snow Patrols Chasing Cars and not realising, she really liked that song. I miss her like crazy already and I don’t know what I’m going to be like once we have her funeral.

Some people may find it strange to write such a personal post on their blog but she used to support mine and read it quite a lot. My Beauty Naturals post and also the Lacura Beauty post where her ideas so I bet she’s thrilled to be featured fully haha.

I don’t know when I will be back to blogging fully because as much as I miss it and still have ideas popping in my head, I keep zoning out and can’t fully concentrate yet. Thank you to everyone who has tweeted me and to a couple of special ladies who have been chatting to me daily on Facebook and Whatsapp, it means a lot that you have all been there for me at this awful time. Brent has been utterly amazing to me through the whole thing, he hasn’t left my side and even drove all the way to Colchester to pick my sister up the night Grandma went into hospital, he’s been my rock. Grandma apparently told my mum a couple of weeks ago how she considers him family, that broke my heart a little bit but also makes me extremely happy.

Thank you for looking after me every time I was ill growing up, I must have been the only child who wished to be ill so I could spend more time with my wonderful Grandma. Thank you for rummaging food together for my cousin Ashley and I every time we decided we wanted a picnic at the last minute. And thank you for everything you have ever done for me and my family, I will never forget you.

Nanma, I miss you and I love you with all my heart. This isn’t Goodbye,
Rest peacefully.